Here is a joke i read on another site::::
Ancient Chinese Torture...
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A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.
He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a
long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the
night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as
lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese
tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well,
and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful,
and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man
since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the
old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he
night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of
passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't
hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large
rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large
rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the
best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked
the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he
did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock
tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was
already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was
better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he
plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese
Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."